My moments of sadness..

I can't change it. I just can't.. every effort, every move I'm making to fix myself, ends up fixing you.. This is still you shining up there.. strong, wild, brutal, far.. so far out of my reach.. out of anybody's reach.. out of any control, out of any conversation, out of perception, out of everything..
And here I am.. with nothing.. nothing of you, nothing of me.. I've been feeding you for many years.. feeding your ego.. your sick strong ego..  I've been feeding you with my words.. with my love.. with every move I made to stop it, with every effort I put to fix it.. I've been feeding you for so long... I can smell me when you breath .. I can hear me when you talk..
And there you are.. on the top.. farther than ever before.. and evermore starving.. for my life..
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